When people say that Blacks have a "Crabs in a Barrel" mentality, I never really realized how true that was...until recently when I listened to one of my friends rationalize the abuse his 2 year old little girl endured from her mother.
My friend, we will call him "Jim", meet the mother of his child at a bar. She had two other children, young boys, when Jim met her. He was familiar with all of her habits (good and bad) when she became pregnant. After she had her third child, Jim's first, she moved into a recovery shelter for addicted women.
(Fast forward past other bullshit)
When Jim first noticed the lumps on his 2 years old daughter's head, he thought nothing of it. His daughter was very active and children will fall now and then. But, one day when he went to pick up his he noticed 5 lumps on her head.
He said he suspected child abuse. He interrogated his baby mama, she denied it. Fortunately, his daughter though only 2 years old, is intelligent enough to say "mommy hit me in the shower".
Unfortunately, Jim is more concerned with the possibility of his baby mama going to jail than he is with the safety of his child. When I attempt to explain to Jim that suspected child abuse is a no brainer...go straight to jail, do not pass go. He goes on to explain how his mother used to whip his ass too and he's fortunate that no one stepped in to take him and his sisters away to foster care or some other system. Jim believes he turned out just fine.
Crabs in a Barrel.
Many Blacks who have endured abuse, have no idea that they have been victims. They think that emotional, physical and verbal abuse are a normal part of growing up. Even worse, many African Americans believe that it builds character and prepares the child for "the real world". It is a cycle that breeds hopelessness, insecurity and inadequacy in adults. These forms of abuse have their roots in slavery. Unless noticed, diagnosed and treated. It will continue to bred slaves.
Taking note of these traits in ourselves is difficult. Which is the reason why so many African Americans point out shortcomings in others rather then taking a good hard look at themselves. It is a painful realization.
